Editing

Attorney TV Ad Fail Update

I had posted on this ad the other personal credit history day. Office was misspelled with only one f. A commenter at Musing Minds noted that the “s” in Dallas also kind of looks like an “x.”

Since then I’ve payday loans in chapel hill nc noticed an different ad with office spelled correctly on a pink background, and today there’s a corrected ad with the blue background.

I noticed that this personal loans from onemain financial ad has a different toll free number as well as the corrected word. Dallas still looks as if it ends in an “x” although I think that’s just the font choice since the x in Tx is a sharper x.

So, did we have anything to do with the correction?

cross-posted at Musing Minds

Attorney TV Ad Fail

I happened to look personal loans in goa up at the TV during a commercial for Freese and Goss this morning and something really jumped out at me. This is the “full screen”:

and this is the close-up:

Did you catch it? Somebody didn’t run spell check. This ad has been running for several months. I generally don’t actually watch the commercials, but I happened to look up at just the right moment today and hit pause on the TiVo.

cross-posted from Musing Minds

Editing Fail

There are many copies of this personal loan alabang at my local Walmart. One on each cash register.

[flickr]6326315892[/flickr]

“hero’s” should be “heroes”. The word is a plural, not a possessive.

“veteran’s” should be “veterans”. Once again, we have a plural, not a possessive.

This sentence has problems:

Help us honor your veteran’s, police officer and fireman, by bringing a photo to your photo dept.

As noted above, it should be “veterans,” not “veteran’s”. Then we have the plural of veteran, but singular “police officer” and “fireman”.

There is some controversy over serial commas. Some say that there should be a comma before “and” or “or” and some say that there should not be a comma before “and”. I am from the comma-before-and school. Whichever you prefer, the comma in the above sentence between fireman and by is wrong and should not be there. I also think the “and” should be replaced by “or”.

“Department” should be spelled out instead of abbreviated.

The final sentence is way off as well.

Starting October 20th – November 11th and honor your special hero by receiving a coupon for 2 5×7’s.

The “and” is superfluous. Some people use the apostrophe to indicate plurals with numerals, some do not.

How does one honor one’s hero by receiving a coupon? Apparently you take a photo of your hero to the photo department and the employee there will put your photo on the “Wall of Honor” to be seen by Walmart employees and customers. They will also give you a coupon good for two 5″ by 7″ prints.

It’s also out of balance with all that black space.

My suggestion:

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